MIAD’s President Got a Nine-Thousand Dollar Raise

Let’s all take a moment to congratulate Jeff Morin for his probably well-deserved raise this year. It’s impressive, considering he already makes a hundred thousand dollars more than the school’s second-highest-paid employee. And, you know, roughly eight times that of the average adjunct faculty member. You may remember my gentle but extensive ribbing of Jeff, last year.

It kind of makes you wonder what the president of an art school actually does. I emailed Jeff last week asking just this, but have yet to see a response.

Which brings us to the interactive segment of this week’s newsletter. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d appreciate you taking a moment to shoot Jeff a quick email. Let’s keep it polite. Just, in your own words, let him know that you’re curious about the work he does, and how eager you’d be to see his name appear in a forthcoming edition of a semi-reputable publication run by a MIAD alumni. We’re going for diplomacy on this one, guys.

[email protected]

Yes I Did Spend Thirteen Dollars On a Glass of Tea

I think it’s clear by this point that I’m no Jeff Morin, and even if I were, thirteen dollars would feel like an unfair amount of money to charge for a drink. I would never say that Discourse Coffee’s goblet of ruby-colored chamomile is “worth it” but I do think it’s something everyone should try, even if it means you’re having hot dog ramen for dinner a few nights this week.

Just hear me out. Most of the time, the fluids that go into our bodies are put there because of how they’ll make us feel later, whether energized, drunk, or very drunk. Discourse’s It’s 2AM and My Roommate is Severely Dehydrated (that’s what it’s called) is about how it makes you feel in the moment. You don’t need any special aptitude for mindfulness, or a cultivated appreciation for tea, just a love for sweet, weird things. And thirteen dollars.

The main thing I’d say about the drink is that it’s fun. You’re roleplaying as a dauntless spelunker, staring down the mouth of a bottomless cavern of fruit and yogurt. Your only tools are a straw, spoon, and one of those plastic yogurt shots you’ve seen in Asian supermarkets but never had the courage to try. They taste like strawberry Yoplait, as it turns out.

The straw seems like an obvious place to start, if you’re a coward. Because let me tell you, no matter how long you sit there sucking, not one lychee, blackberry, or hunk of dandelion jelly is escaping that glass. The spoon is where the action is, and trust me, once it’s in your hand you’ll know a sense of empowerment you’ll never want to let go. In a flash, you’re eight years old, at an Outback Steakhouse in the mid-nineties. Your parents are screaming at you to put the silverware back on the table. But guess what Mom and Dad? It turns out I was right all along. Drinks are meant to be eaten!!

Sorry, I don’t often do food criticism. It’s kind of fun?

I guess my favorite part was the pineapple juice ball. You work a bit to fish it out, but then the slightest bite turns it into crunchy slush. The dandelion jelly didn’t taste like much, to be honest, but I was glad to have it.

My only word of caution would be that this is not a drink for Serious Adults looking for a Serious Beverage Experience. I mean, it’s good. It tastes like a parfait, with a bit of kombucha-y bio-tingle to spice it up. But it’s more of a kinetic experience than a flavor one. If you want serious grownup coffee, Discourse has plenty to choose from, which may or may not trigger trauma flashbacks.

Friday

Group Show - Re:Connection
Patchwork Collective Tattoo, 901 E Wright Street, 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM

Performance - where do we go from here?
UWM Dance, Mitchell Hall Studio 395, 3203 N Downer Ave, 6:00 PM to 7:00 PM

Saturday

Nirmal Raja - Asking Questions of a Thread
Watrous Gallery, 201 State St, Madison, WI 53703, 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM

Sunday

The Milwaukee Synth Meet
Golfshoe Music, 635 E Wright St, “noon to 6ish”